I started my self-love journey with a broken heart.

by Candace L. Smith

I broke my own heart.

When I began to learn what it takes to properly love yourself, to love me, it broke my heart. It broke my heart to realize that I cared so little for myself that I hadn't set any real boundaries in relationships. It broke my heart to learn that I had neglected to properly show love to me but was trying so desperately to love others.

It was heart breaking.

For me. Self - Love is the show I show to myself. Love is an action word so it then becomes the action that I express towards myself. So what is love? Because I had not examined what love is through how I treated myself I could not start there so I started where I spent the majority of my time and that was: how have I been attempting to love others.

When I love someone I care about their well-being. Well, how had I been caring for my own well-being? The answer to that was I wasn't. I wasn't worried about me being well. I was concerned about appearing to be well.

I was more concerned with caring for others because it took the attention off of areas in my life where I lacked growth. Loving yourself is seeing the damaged areas in your life and valuing you enough to do something about it. To address it. To confess it. To make a plan. Set a goal. And work hard to accomplish it.

This month during this #28daysofselflove I've decided to create a wellness plan to address different areas of my life: my physical health issues, mental health, spiritual life, business practices and , communication within my relationships. It's been awhile since I seriously sat down the way did when I was receiving counseling. I stopped certain practices that was very successful in my life and I want to began again and take it to another level.

This month I'll be hosting intimate discussion on the Clubhouse App and also releasing videos into the Facebook Phatabulous Ladies page as well as going live from @phatabulousmag on Instagram. I would love for you to join me. I love games and activities so I'll do that as well as group journal assignments. If you like that sort of thing I would love for you to participate.