Let God Be The Father

After my father passed away I remember riding in the car with my mom and boldly declaring to my mom that I would be alright because God had assured me that he would be the best Father I could ever had.  I stood strong on that promise for awhile.  But somewhere down the road I lost sight of exactly what that meant.

Years later, in a very low moment God reminded me of the words he whispered to me long ago.  At first I tossed the thought aside thinking, realistically how could God truly be a replacement for my natural father who has been deceased for more than half of my life.

I began to get upset and emotional.  I blamed God for where I was at the time.  I cursed him and said, if you would have saved his life mine would be better and because he's not here I've suffered a far worse fate.

At times I do still have feelings of sadness, anger and regret.  However I no longer allow them to cause me to make reckless decisions with my heart.  For a long time I truly believed that not having my father in my life played a huge role in negatives experiences in my relationship.  And to a degree that may be true, but it doesn't have to be permanent.

No matter what you face in life you can still learn and grow.  When I first recalled the promise I believe God gave me years ago I dismissed them, but then one day I had a thought.  I could present the things I felt like I lacked as a result of not having my natural father present in my life to God.  

I would journal about them and when opportunities arose I spoke with close spiritual advisers and counselors about them.  God began to use them to show me other ways of behaving in relationships.  It was what I needed and God always knows what we need.  

When we invite God into the dark areas of our lives he will shine his light and began to show us that it's not so bad after all and there is nothing to hard for him to handle and even in dead situations there can bring life.